by Marissa Marangoni

Do you know what CVS stands for? Customer Valued Service.

The services at CVS are, generally, valued by me. The store on Cleveland Massillon in Copley is always clean and bright, and the staff is pretty friendly. I can find what I need there relatively quickly, I can count on purchasing a snack I definitely do not need, and I like getting the miles-long receipt with coupons to lure me back in the following week. I have to give CVS props for having a bathroom because I had a small child who suddenly said, “I need poop,” and I didn’t know what I was going to do about that.

Overall, this CVS is a favorite, but unfortunately I have to tell you: the carpet doesn’t match the drapes.

A very nice pharmacist pointed me and my little guy toward the back left corner of the store. We went down a short white hallway and opened the door to a bathroom that was — well — not what I expected. Again, I will say: I am very grateful that this bathroom exists, and I understand that it is not really advertised for public use, so CVS probably didn’t feel the need to get creative or fancy when it came to the space. But I did expect it to be at least a little inviting.

Everything in this small bathroom felt dirty. The sign on the wall right inside the door reads, “PLEASE TURN LIGHTS OFF,” and had I not been helping a toddler, I would have been tempted to follow those directions and do my business in the dark.

While the toilet and the sink were not disgusting, I wouldn’t suggest anyone take a bath in them. I imagine someone cleans it as quickly as possible, so the most gross things are removed, but the lesser dirt accumulation is not dealt with. Things were a bit wet. There was a lot of visible dirt. The aging white paint on the walls only makes the dirt more noticeable.

There was a changing table available, which was nice.

At Urine Luck, it has been our mission to try and shine a light on the public bathrooms in Akron and encourage some improvements in the state of public sanitation. Really, though, every bathroom we visit has employees who have to use it regularly. Yes, the public deserves a decent place to drop the kids at the pool, but so do the employees who work in our city.

CVS, I’m calling on you: give your employees a spot of solace and serenity by getting rid of this sullied space. You get a 1.5 out of 5 toilets, mostly for just having one.

Marissa Marangoni has been writing for the Devil Strip since 2015.

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