jayke and daughter cropped

Time out with daddy

by Jayke Brown

How many times a day do you feel like you want to pull out your hair? Well, if you are lucky to have hair, unlike me, then try not to. Everything that we as parents see and deal with on a daily basis is just that — because we are parents! 

Hi, I am a married dad with a wonderful daughter that I have adopted from birth. She is now 7 years old and is the most amazing decision in life I have ever made. There are days when we have a great time going to local parks (Goodyear Heights Metro Park and Reservoir Park), festivals, movies at the Linda Theatre (when open), shopping all over the city, out to eat (especially love Molly Brown in Ellet), exploring the areas around us, and so much more. On the flip side, we also have days we just relax at home too. 

No matter what we do, there never seems to be a day going by that I do not want to give her a time out for something she said or did. 

Read archived Hell Raisers content here.

I know we all have gotten there and it is OK. Yes, you read that right, it is OK! Life is not perfect for us, as adults, and remember that every day for us can go any which way as well. It is the same for kids and sometimes they have limited ways to express themselves and thus why we get those moods from our mini-mes. With that said, even if you are out enjoying your day somewhere, find a way to still give them a time out as needed so it does not just skirt by without some recognition of what they did wrong. 

The most recent example of this for us was at Village Discount Outlet when we were buying her another new coat as she outgrew her last coat, again! No matter how many times I told her she could not have the pink one because it was not warm enough, she kept getting louder and louder because she wanted the pink one. Eventually, she ripped the coat off and tossed it on the floor and stomped away with folded arms. Sorry, but no… never is that OK! We put all the coats back and I told her let’s go. She knew she messed up and off to the corner we went. Being 7 years old, she gets time out for seven minutes — with good behavior I sometimes cave in at five. During this time I make sure she knows she needs to think about what she has done. When done, we talk about what we did wrong and ways we can fix it next time. It seemed to do the trick as we went back, picked out the coat I wanted for her, checked out and actually had a great rest of the day!

As I am able to write more articles for this column, I will go over the daily ins and outs of crazy times and happy times along with things we enjoy about our city and local areas. We are a very active family, so there is plenty I can and will share to do. At the same time, discipline is something I know I struggle with so I will share what she did, why she did it and what I did about it; assuming I always know. 

As many of you know, our children may not always know what is wrong, but they do know that there is a problem in their world. I used to tell myself that I was glad when she started walking, then glad when she started talking and honestly some days I wonder why when all you want them to do is sit down and shut up (which I would never actually say). Now that I said that, you do not have to feel bad feeling this way too. Trust me, we are not the only parents out there who feel like this and have days like this with our children. Hopefully, if you read this, you will continue to want to read more as time allows these to be printed. In the meantime, take care of yourself or you will never be able to take care of your kid fully!

Jayke Brown is living life to the fullest while being a daddy, husband, author, caregiver and friend to everyone he meets.