Urine Luck | Urban Air Adventure Park

I’m not the kind of person you usually see at a place called “Urban Air Adventure Park,” and yet, it seems that when one has a child, one ends up doing things and going places that one would not usually do or go to. This has been a positive thing for me overall, and, well, now I am a person with a membership to a place called “Urban Air Adventure Park” — because, seriously, how could I not get a membership when my high-energy kid slept 12 hours after the first visit!?

The only other reason, beside my kid, for me to get out of my comfort zone is this column. When I can meet the need for a bathroom review and child entertainment simultaneously, I feel pretty darn pleased with myself. This bathroom entertainment adventure was no exception.

Urban Air Adventure Park is a new(er) feature in Fairlawn. It has trampolines, bumper cars, slides, warrior courses, climbing walls and more. And bathrooms. Of course. 

I didn’t have expectations for this bathroom, being that my indoor adventure park attendance has been next to nil — aside from that one time three years ago in Tennessee when my husband tore his Achiles tendon at one and then we had a Super Fun Year (and by that, I mean he tore the stupid thing twice and I got to chase a 1-year-old around solo) as a result. 

The bathroom at Urban Air is clean with a capital “C.” White walls, white floors. Whoever decided to put a white bathroom in such a kid-heavy facility was very optimistic. Rightfully so, it seems, because every time we’ve been there, the marbled tiles are shining, the paper towels are stocked, the sinks are dry and it is just one of the most pleasant and aesthetically pleasing public bathrooms around. I mean, most of the time. Because — uh — my child may have ruined that a little.

A bit about that: my son is three and a half years old. He is insistent on being as independent as he can possibly be, which, a lot of the time, results in chaos and mess. It’s cool, he’s learning how to be a person, and I respect his need for independence, so when we go to public bathrooms, he now goes into the stall by himself. I stand outside of the stall or use the one beside him, and I am sure he is touching every single surface with his bare skin, but at least I don’t have to see it in action and think about all the terrible bathroom diseases he’s contracting. 

When the time came to visit the Urbain Air bathroom during our last trip there, we entered our separate stalls and did what we needed to do. I assumed all was well until I heard, “Mom, I might have peed on the floor. But that is OK!” 

I mean, sure, kid, it is OK, but maybe let’s not say that out loud while we are in the bathroom with an employee who likely has to clean up after kids like you who pee on the floor. 

Honestly, I’ve come to expect this kind of thing regularly in my home bathroom. There are cleaning products and rags and all the supplies necessary to handle pee that somehow manages to get on the wall, the cabinet, the floor — you get the idea. I had never thought about prepping for this mess in public, but since I am no longer in the bathroom stall with my little person, I should probably make myself a public bathroom clean-up kit. 

While I did my best with wet paper towels in the very clean Urban Air bathroom, my best was probably not super great. This is when I will remind you that even though pee on the floor is gross, it is sterile. And, anyway, with how clean the Urban Air bathroom is on the regular, I assume it was only minutes before an employee with the necessary cleaning kit showed up to really sanitize the place. 

I am sorry, Urban Air, that I was unprepared for the consequences of my son’s new independence, but next time we return, I will have my own cleaning materials at the ready. In the meantime, I award this bathroom a solid 5/5 toilets for the cleanliness — and the adventure.

Marissa Marangoni has been one of Akron’s unofficial Public Restroom Executives since 2015.