Urine Luck | Spaghetti Warehouse

by Emily Dressler

Spaghetti Warehouse on South Main Street does not, for some reason, have eggplant parmesan, but they do have a lot of other things: a trolley car, a fancy chandelier, kitschy decor. Whenever I am in a restaurant resplendent with antique junk and all manner of memorabilia hanging from the walls and ceilings, I am thankful that the frenzied decor rarely carries over to the bathroom.

The women’s restroom at Spaghetti Warehouse favors a simple, timeless look with black and white flooring and white pedestal sinks. Black and white flooring looks good anywhere. I’m not sure if it’s tile, vinyl, linoleum or maybe something made from recycled pasta noodles, as I know nothing about building materials. It’s a classic look, and I bet it really sparkled when the Spaghetti Warehouse opened in the 90s.

Smaller black and white tiles extend about halfway up the walls. The rest of the wall is red. A red, white, and black color palette always reminds me of my high school, but I can’t blame Spaghetti Warehouse for that.  

There are three out of three functioning stalls. There is nothing great or horrible about them.

The slight dinginess of this restroom has a bit of a romantic quality, but I have a feeling this look is not intentional. It doesn’t take long for “slight dinginess” to give way to more caked-on dirt in the corners and tile grout.

The two sinks are at different heights, which seems like an especially annoying mistake. The shorter one is not low enough that someone in a wheelchair could efficiently use it. It’s also not low enough to be a kids sink. It’s just a mistake. There are two soap dispensers (positioned at equal heights), two paper towel dispensers and a changing table. There are also two trash cans. Enough bathroom accessories for everyone!

My favorite part of this restroom is the framed sign with a black curlicue border. Actually, it’s more of a poem. The poem opens with, “We care about you …  / Our customer”. The third line reads: “This restroom should be perfect.” I think maybe this is a conditional statement that is missing its second part, but I’m not here for linguistic analysis and we don’t know the speaker’s intention. The second part of the conditional statement is found in the closing lines: “If you are dissatisfied, / please talk to the manager!”

Points were awarded for the bathroom poem/sign, but points were taken away because of the dirt and grime, so the Spaghetti Warehouse gets a 2.5/5 this time.

Emily Dressler has been writing for the Devil Strip since 2015.