Tires and Toilet Paper
by Marissa Marangoni
Following the car theme of Emily’s review last month, I bring you (*whispers*) Conrad’s. It’s not just a place for a leaking tire repair. It is also a place to take a leak yourself, if you want to.
I actually didn’t want to, but my toddler did. After he walked up to the only other person waiting for their car to get serviced and proudly announced, “I fart,” I was okay with leaving the room. Conrad’s on Ridgewood Road in Fairlawn Heights hosts single-stall bathrooms tucked in the right corner of the building.
The bathroom is nicely-sized — not too small for two people to fit inside, which was never a consideration of mine until I had a child who had to accompany me everywhere, and not so big that the space feels wasted. It is mostly clean, with neutral-toned tiles on the floor and a muted yellow paint on the walls. I’d have expected beige here, but I’m glad it was yellow. You know, while I’m talking about beige, I’m going to put it out there: beige is over. It is not a good color for your walls. It is boring. It is now the time of grey. You heard it here.
Everything here is in working order, and with the exception of a few errant paper towels on the floor, I don’t have much to report that was positively or negatively outstanding. This bathroom is above average in its looks, and it functions as it should.
If toddlers are interested in this bathroom from the perspective of a member of their community, and not an adult like me, they should note that the water fountain outside the women’s bathroom works and will, without pause, deliver cold water to run over your hand until your mom physically removes you from said fountain. After the water fountain, paper towels will be needed. Conrad’s gets a ding from the toddler crowd because they can neither reach the towels nor dispense them.
That said, the biggest toddler-approved feature of this bathroom is the rollability of the toilet paper. It moves swiftly without noise and a large volume can be dispensed in a very small amount of time.
Overall, the Conrad’s in Fairlawn Heights has a good can for all of your adult and toddler bathroom needs. ⅘ toilets.
Marissa has been writing about Akron bathrooms for the Devil Strip since 2015.
Manis, Pedis, and Bathrooms
by Emily Dressler
I am not generally a person who visits nail salons or gets pedicures. But I am a person who has a sister who takes me on outings like getting pedicures. For my second-ever pedicure, we went to a place called Anthony Vince’ Nail Salon in Cuyahoga Falls. I’m not sure how I feel about people with two first names, but I don’t think Anthony Vince’ (yes, apostrophe included) is a real person.
The salon is long and narrow, with manicure stations down the middle and pedicure stations on both sides. The bathrooms are located on the right, past the first pedicure station.
My toenail polish (Casino Royale, which is basically purple) was just fine. I waited what I assumed to be a long enough time before putting my shoes and socks on so I could walk gingerly to the bathroom. Maybe there is some special cold-weather appropriate shoe/sock combo that is also safe for pedicures. Other than a soft moon shoe that wraps around your toe area without actually touching your toes, I don’t know what this would be.
The bathrooms here are single stalls because anything else in a salon would be absurd. The women’s room is nice and dimly lit, but I thought it would be more spa-like. Maybe a small pile of rocks? Those seem to be all over spas. Oh, some bamboo, definitely. Maybe a framed photo of falling water, with some background noise for added comfort.
However, the bathroom designers at Anthony Vince’ are probably comfortable in their decor decisions because they have the pièce de résistance: A black toilet. At UL, we love black toilets. They are so damned classy. Seriously, why are white toilets standard? They are not exciting. Remember when bathrooms used to have all sorts of weird colors, like blue or green toilets? Or those pink toilets?
The sink has a raised bowl, which is not my favorite. I don’t think they will stand the test of time. (I guess they make sense, though. Think about when you eat cereal or soup out of a bowl — it’s not like your bowl sits in a bowl-shaped hole in the table, even though that seems like it could be cool.) That said, I really like the way the water laps gently out of the faucet at Anthony Vince’. Well done, faucet designers.
I appreciated this Anthony Vince’ bathroom experience and I am awarding 4.5 out of 5 toilets.
(This review has been edited to add that, after finding out about the pointless apostrophe in Anthony Vince’, I am revoking 0.5 toilets.)
Emily Dressler has been writing about toilets for the Devil Strip since 2015.