Urine Luck: Hold Your Own at Mastador Strength and Conditioning


Contrary to popular belief, Mastador Strength and Conditioning of Akron does not feature a mastodon on its logo. Maybe it should. I’d definitely check out the bathrooms at a dinosaur gym. However, MSC is dinosaur-less–unless you count all the T-rexes that walk around after too many leg days. Just kidding. The coaches at MSC work hard to make sure none of their members have trouble reaching their pizza.

Like the actual MSC mascot–a large mixed-breed dog–the bathroom situation at Mastador Strength and Conditioning is also a mixed breed. You’ve got one spa-like bathroom in the front of the building, while the bathroom in the back is a space more akin to a sterile hospital room. And, no worries, friends, your parts don’t matter, you can use any bathroom you desire here!

You know how people say business in the front, party in the back? Well, the good old mullet description also fits the MSC bathrooms–depending on the context of the word “business,” of course. You can do your bathroom business in the front bathroom if you want, but you should probably do your big bathroom business in the back because you won’t feel as bad dirtying it up.

If you’re showing around some business associates, you’ll send them to the cozy front bathroom for its charming metal decor and stunning good looks. If you’re taking your friend who hasn’t worked out in four years for an intro workout, they’ll probably want to use the back bathroom to rowlf in because splashback in this room is less detrimental to the surroundings.

The MSC bathrooms are clean, functional, and fitting for the space they occupy. Each feature a toilet, sink, and paper towel dispenser. The back bathroom features a nice-sized shower. It’s not the crap kind you find in most gyms, the kind with the moldy vinyl curtain you desperately try to avoid touching. This is a real, true shower–with shelves and space to shave your legs (if you do stuff like that at the gym) and everything. And you don’t even have to share it with anyone else! Some nice smelling soap cleans the burpee dirt from your hands effectively. And some nice smelling person cleans whatever else kind of “dirt” you may make in either of the two bathrooms.

I give the Mastador Strength and Conditioning bathrooms a solid 4.5/5 toilets. They’re clean. They’re nice. But maybe they could get a real toilet paper holder in the back business bathroom (though if you’re working out here, you should probably not complain about this and be able to hold your own toilet paper roll with just the strength of your gaze).

Mastador Strength and Conditioning, 1245 S Cleveland Massillon Rd, Ste 205. Akron, OH 44321. mastadorstrengthandconditioning.com (330) 931-6360