What to do when you’re waiting for a call from Corey Feldman

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[su_note]NOTE: I’m happy to report there will be a Part 2 to this because Ariel did get to speak with Mr. Feldman on the phone. – Chris H. [/su_note]

A Corey Feldman superfan scores the interview she always wanted only to see it fall apart think it’s fallen apart.

by Ariel Hakim

Corey_Feldman_RubberDucks_GraphicI don’t know how the Akron RubberDucks scheduled Corey Feldman’s May 30 appearance, which highlights the team’s observance of the 30th anniversary of “The Goonies,” but I was ready to ride those coattails.

A month before, I put in the interview request and the RubberDucks said it was a go, but when it came down to actually setting a day and time, we got no further word from Feldman’s people.

I had given up hope, having hearing nothing, when all of a sudden—as my deadline approached for this issue—Adam from the RubberDucks gave me the news in an email: “Ariel, it looks like Corey will do a phone interview. When is best for you?”

It was probably lucky for me I didn’t know sooner I’d get to talk to Feldman. Before I’d even thought up any questions for him, I was all sweaty palms, shaky and I couldn’t be entirely sure I wouldn’t cry while on the phone with him. I mean, we’re talking Corey. Feldman. And who am I–small town reporter in mom jeans–that Corey Feldman would take time out of his busy, fancy life to talk with me?

On the other hand, I’m an unwavering fan, and I’d also done my research.

While Googling him in my few odd free hours as mom of a 2-year-old, I came across a blog post by novelist Randy L. Shaffer detailing a 2010 visit Feldman made to Akron on tour with his psychedelic rock band Truth Movement, which stopped at Annabell’s. During the show, a drunk guy repeatedly yelled, “Do Mouth from ‘Goonies’!”

Shaffer argues Feldman deserves more respect. He’s preaching to the choir. Just imagining the scene at Annabell’s that night makes me want to punch the heckler.

If Corey had called, I would have asked him about his impression of Akron and its people. And if he didn’t seem totally put off by his previous visit, I might have even suggested that this might just be the right kind of family-friendly town to raise his son, 10-year-old Zen, out of the public eye. That might resonate with Feldman, who has been vocal about his own difficult upbringing and I suspect, has every intention of shielding Zen from the ugliness that went with growing up in Hollywood.

corey bioHis 2013 memoir, “Coreyography,” doesn’t side-step any of what he went through; in fact, he tells all about the ultra-dysfunctional parenting that led to his emancipation at 15, and he doesn’t shy away from writing about the pedophiles in the business who preyed on him and his friend, Corey Haim. He writes about his own drug abuse, arrests and awkward climb to sobriety. And he writes about the terrible downfall of Corey Haim and his 2010 death. Yet it’s not a self-pitying book.

Still, I’d like to ask him where he’s gotten the courage to keep reinventing himself after all he’s been through, how he has managed to refuse to believe his best years are behind him.

My hopes for a phone call from Feldman were so fragile I didn’t share them with anyone except for my husband until after they were totally shot.

Then when I do confess to my little sister, who wasn’t born until the ’80s, that I am disappointed he hasn’t called, her response leaves me a bit baffled and largely unsatisfied.

“Corey Feldman?” she asks me quizzically. “Is he from Akron?”

There are just enough years between us—six—that she is truly unaware. She hasn’t even seen “The Goonies,” nor “Stand by Me,” those pre-teen adventure movies that rank as classics for me. My untouchable loyalty to Feldman relies squarely on those two films. I didn’t remember, until reading his book, he was first in “Gremlins.” To be completely honest, I’ve never seen “Dream a Little Dream,” and it wasn’t until recently that I watched “The Lost Boys,” which turned out to be not really my type of thing. Feldman’s more recent works are completely lost on me. I totally missed his major television forays, “The Surreal Life” and “The Two Coreys.”

And I’m also entirely perplexed by his “Corey’s Angels” project, which appears on the surface to be a way for him to surround himself with pretty ladies in lingerie, though in his book he refers to it as a “business venture” and says it’s “an exclusive social club and management company.”

What I believe is his official Twitter account is smattered with pics of him with his “angels,” and one recent tweet was: “CALLIN ALL HOT MODELS & ANGELS: WE R THROWING A SMALL @CoreysAngels EVENT 4 A PRIME TIME MAINSTREAM NETWORK SHOW! IF YOU R HOT N WANT 2 B SEEN,” and continues with another tweet explaining how to get in touch with him. Yikes!

So, I may not be his most consistent or well-versed fan, but even so, if you see me pressed up against the gates before they open at Canal Park May 30 hoping to catch a glimpse and ready to fight anybody who even so much as mutters a negative word against him, don’t be surprised.

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