Urine Luck | Quarter Up & Continental Cuisine

 -  -  22


words and photos by Emily Dressler and Marissa Marangoni

12/9/17

 

Game On at Quarter Up

Emily Dressler

Upon arriving at Quarter Up in the valley, I looked around for the bathrooms. If you walk in the front door, they are past the bar and down a little hallway to the right. The sign above the hallway indicates that there are both sushi rolls and bathrooms in this direction. A more natural pairing does not exist.

The sushi place is closed on Sundays, so I am unable to say how well this pairing works. At first, I worried the bathrooms were shared with a sushi place whose bathrooms I have already reviewed and I wondered briefly whether everything had lost all meaning.

We wiled away the time waiting for our food by playing old arcade games. This was perfect for me, as waiting for food (or anything) is boring. Eventually, I traipsed down the lovely bright green hallway to the bathrooms. The first door I opened was a dark closet with pipes, a bucket, and some type of hot water heater monster. You probably won’t make this same mistake, as nothing about this door screams “open me.”

The women’s bathroom is longer than it is wide, with a sink, counter, and toilet on one wall. I snuck a look at the men’s room and noticed a toilet and a urinal. This is a single-person restroom (let’s call it a single-player bathroom, in the spirit of Quarter Up) and I wonder why men can’t just pee in the toilet. Why do they need a urinal as well? I also have it on good authority that the men’s room has tasteful black ink drawings of women in their underwear.

Anyway, back to the women’s room: The counter works well enough as a purse holder, but I doubt that the counter is always clean enough for this. The sign on the toilet tank instructs users to hold down the handle when flushing. Reading between the lines, I assume this means you need to hold down the handle for longer than you normally would.

Toilets like this make me nervous. Is it a lack of water pressure? Is this the plight of any toilet in the valley? Each toilet in the valley seems so close to the main outfall sewer pipe (affectionately known as the “poop pipe”), but I guess that doesn’t improve the power of a flusher.

The colors in this bathroom seem like they would be chaotic, but the overall effect is fine. The wall by the door is a cheerful boysenberry color. The wall on the other end has graffiti-type wallpaper that looks like it would be in an after-school special bathroom. The wall opposite the sink is brick and the other wall is just plain. That’s four different wall personalities!

Quarter Up could likely just have two unisex single-player bathrooms and do away with the separate men’s/women’s designations. Overall, I am cool with this bathroom and give it ⅗, which is probably like 400,000 in pinball points.

Quarter UP

1446 N Portage Path

Akron, OH 44313

(330)752-4080

Emily Dressler thinks it would be funny if you had to insert quarters in this bathroom to get the lights to turn on, but she is glad that you don’t have to do that.

 

Continental Cuisine

By Marissa Marangoni

Well, friends, I am not sure how Dresslie and I are still finding new bathrooms to review in Akron, and yet, we persist. This time, I tried out Continental Cuisine on Ghent Road, which could be titled King of Mediterranean food and fries in my humble opinion, but this isn’t a food review.

When you enter CC, you have to walk through their small food store to get to the restaurant part, and then the bathrooms are straight to the back of the dining room. Things might get a little awkward if you find yourself in need of the facilities and are just shopping in the store, so you probably should just get over yourself and grab a bite so you don’t feel guilty about doody-ing and dashing.

When I hear “Mediterranean,” I think color. You know how people ask if you want the good news or the bad news first, and smart people pick the bad news because they know it’s better to disappoint themselves if there is something uplifting on its way directly after that disappointment?

Well, here’s the disappointment at good old CC: there’s a severe lack of color here. I’ll admit that I am no design expert, but when I consulted HGTV.com about such matters, they showed a blindingly bright rainbow-y bathroom, so maybe i have some sort of credibility. However, because the restaurant sticks to a very neutral color pallette, it would be weird to have a color-filled crapper without the main dining decor to match.

So, that’s the bad news, folks, want the good news? Well, URINE LUCK because I have some. Continental Cuisine’s bathroom may not be super interesting to look at (though I do like the crispness of the black and white tiling on the walls and their unique placement), but it is a solid, working washroom. You can count on the toilet to flush, the sink for running water, and a locking door on this single stall.

I know I’ve discussed my preference for single-stall paradises, but now I am thinking maybe they aren’t all the rage. My dad always said, “Some come here to sit and think, while others come here to BADWORDTHATRHYMESWITHSIT and stink,” when it came to bathrooms. These are some wise life words, and in either scenario, the single staller is a problem for those who are waiting to use it or have to use it after the non-thinker.

Akron, maybe we should consider having multiple single-stall bathrooms in every place that has public bathrooms. A point to ponder, just not while pooping in a public bathroom. Lookit all those p words!

Continental cuisine commodes are cool. ⅘ toilets.

Continental Cuisine

55 Ghent Rd.

Fairlawn, OH 44333

(330) 864-1777

Marissa Marangoni found her favorite chicken shawarma at Continental Cuisine. She didn’t eat it in the bathroom.

22 recommended
comments icon 0 comments
0 notes
107 views
bookmark icon

Write a comment...

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *