Urine Luck | Bathroom Reviews of the Funky Truckeria and Balch St. Community Center
Toilets and Tacos
by Marissa Marangoni
You know what they say about Mexican food: Where there’s Mexican food, there must be a bathroom. I’m Mexican, and I can say that. I visited the Funky Truckeria in Norton for its grand opening. The place is an offshoot of the owners’ food trucks, Wholly Frijoles, which makes the most authentic tasting Mexican street food I have ever eaten in Ohio, and The Orange Trük. The brick-and-mortar location does not disappoint either, but it does feature a different menu. The crowd in the small location was pretty sizable for 8:30 p.m. on a Thursday and visibly impressed at the wide-ranging menu of creative, fresh tacos.
I ate a tequila lime chicken taco and guacamole with red and green and white chips, and then it was time to get down to business. There is a single, unisex bathroom to the left of the counter at the Funky Truckeria. One downfall here may be that, when busy, people have to wait for the bathroom — and there isn’t much space to wait in. However, I suspect that crowds will not be so large during normal daily operations, probably rendering this a non-issue.
Though the bathroom is small and plain, it is used well. Everything is as it should be: a working toilet, towel dispenser and sink. I didn’t expect to see the rusted sink handles or the gold fixtures because the main part of the restaurant has been updated to give off a pretty hip vibe, but these things did not deter from the experience. The two pieces of skeleton flair hanging across from the toilet caught my attention and did a little to tie the whole place together. I’ll bet the staff here will update even further as they settle into their new digs.
With its impressive abundance of toilet paper and standard functionality, I give the taco bowl a 3 out of 5 toilet rating. Don’t go to the Funky Truckeria for the toilet, though, go for the tacos.
3200 Greenwich Rd.
Bathrooms and Ballots
by Emily Dressler
Join me, friend, for a fireside bathroom chat at the Balch Street Community Center in the women’s restroom. We will be safe in this designated fall-out shelter.
Maybe you go to Balch Street Community Center to work on your muscles. Or maybe you’re in Precinct 1-G, like I am, and you come here to vote. Represent.
If you’re here to vote and you suffer from nervous bowel voting syndrome, the women’s restroom is right across from the voting room. Sounds like Urine Luck, voter! If you’re a man, just go outside or whatever. Or run for mayor and build yourself a brand new bathroom. Don’t go in the pool.
OK, all politics aside, I love this restroom. Three stalls and three sinks are to the right. To the left is an entire extra room with a gray fireplace mantel and three light brown cushioned metal-frame chairs. It’s an earthy color combo, and I like it.
The toilets and sinks are nothing to brag about. They work, they don’t smell, and the restroom is fully stocked with toilet paper and paper towels. The stalls are painted a surprising blue—a nice break from bathroom beige. Everything seems very clean for a gym restroom.
The stall had a purse/coat hook on the door and one of those metal pull-down racks for your purse. I never use those because my purse is probably too big and all my stuff would fall in the toilet.
There is a leak in the ceiling, but a gray plastic trash can on top of the sink was catching the drip. The steady drip, drip, drip. Luckily, the Balch Street Community Center has some future renovations planned, and maybe this leak is on their honey-do list. I made sure to ask that the fireplace stays.
I don’t even know for sure yet which way I’ll vote on the marijuana issue, or which dude in a suit I’ll pick for mayor, but I’m going to figure it out in this bathroom. Oh me? I’m just here for the fireplace and the voting sticker.
I cast 4 out of 5 toilets for this bathroom.
Balch Street Community Center
220 S. Balch Street
Akron, OH 44302
Voting hours: 6:30 am – 7:30 pm
Gym hours: M – F 5:30 am – 8:30 pm
Saturday 8:00 am – 3:30 pm