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“We Are the Alternative to the Alternative”

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The Numbers Band Shows Why Quality Still Counts   11/20/2017 words by Steve Van Auken, photo by Ashley Kouri  Bob Kidney does not suffer fools gladly. So it’s better not to ask him if leading The Numbers Band (15-60-75) is “fun.” “There is no fun in it for me,... More »

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Trouble with Old People | October 2017

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What’s Up, Slick? by Steve Van Auken 10/04/2017   I don’t like to brag, but in my senior years I have developed an uncanny power over women. For some reason, these women seem to be concentrated in the retail sector of the economy. I know they are infatuated wi... More »

Trouble with Old People | Who’s Ahead?

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by Steve Van Auken Note: This column is satirical. Please read Mr. Van Auken’s writings as a sort of tongue-in-cheek Guide for Millennials to the Greatest Generation. I used to imagine that when I got older I would have some wisdom. I would think deep thoughts... More »

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The Trouble with Old People | Zombies in Orthopedic Shoes

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  column by Steven Van Auken; illustration by Paul Hoffman   When did zombies enter the national consciousness? No one knows for sure. They didn’t cross the frozen Delaware with General Washington. They weren’t there to chase Teddy Roosevelt up San Juan Hill. ... More »

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The Trouble with Old People | Now, Where Was I?

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by Steve Van Auken   You may have noticed that the older person in your life has become a bit forgetful. I have noticed this in some of my friends, which aroused some concern about my own mental processes. I knew my son-in-law to be an observant person so I ap... More »